


You Think That I Don’t Notice (But I Do)

by LieutenantRose



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Chimney is Chimney, Christopher Diaz is to be protected at all costs, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maddie is the best older sister, Short appearance by Judd Ryder, Songfic, a tiny bit of angst, just expect everything of mine to be song based
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24106297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LieutenantRose/pseuds/LieutenantRose
Summary: Eddie’s thoughts through his time pining over our Buckaroo.
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 167





	You Think That I Don’t Notice (But I Do)

_** You say it every day now, I know I get spaced out in a conversation... ** _

“Eddie. Eddie?  _ Edmundo _ !” Eddie startles at the sound of his name. He turns his head to see Buck, his best friend (and love of his life). Buck has a worried furrow in his brow and is observing Eddie with a concerned gaze. 

“S-Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I asked if you’d want to grab some dinner after our shift? Are you okay, man?” Buck asks.

“Of course. Why do you ask?”

“You’ve literally zoned out in every conversation we’ve had for the past few days. Seriously, is something wrong?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m just tired, Buck.” Eddie tries to convince Buck, but he doesn’t seem to buy the excuse.

“Okay. You know you can always talk to me...right, Eddie?”

“I know, Buck. So, about that dinner...”

**_Yeah, it's been a hard year, you say that I don't hear all the words you're saying..._ **

“God, I just want this year to be _over_.” Buck groans as he flops onto the station couch. He throws his feet in Eddie’s lap. Eddie isn’t phased. He keeps reading his book.

“Why? It’s just started, Buck.” Chimney asks. Buck glares at Chim with a look that can only be explained as a ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me’ look. Chimney throws his hands up in surrender. “Just asking.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely better than last year. But this year isn’t looking too hot either.”

“Why?” Eddie finally asks. Buck quirks an eyebrow.

“Did you not here my whole rant last night? I talked about all of this for like, an hour and a half straight.”

“No?”

Buck sighs, exasperated, and a little hurt. “First, there was  you  _ cutting your  fucking line _ .” Buck levels Eddie with a glare that makes him want to sink into the couch. “Next, Athena gets beat up by some sick, perverted douchebag. Then, as if things couldn’t get worse, Abby suddenly shows up after two years! What a fucking great year so far.”

“Hey, it’ll get better. It’s only the beginning, Buck.” Eddie says, his hand rubbing circles on Buck’s scarred leg. Buck shoots him an appreciative look now. Eddie smiles at him. 

“He’s right, kid. Things will work themselves out. They always do.” Bobby says, patting Buck on the shoulder in a fatherly manner.

“Yeah, I guess.”

**_And it makes you miss me even when you're with me, feels like something's broken..._ **

**_I know I've been acting easily distracted, you wish I could focus..._ **

“I miss you.” 

“Buck, I’m right here.”

“Physically. You’re here physically, Eddie. You’re somewhere else entirely mentally.” Buck’s tone is sad and it makes Eddie want to do everything in his power to make him happy.

“I-“ Eddie doesn’t know what to say. Well, he knows what he wants to say,  _I love you with every fiber of my being. I’ve never felt anything for anyone how I feel about you. You’re basically already Christopher’s other dad, let’s just make it official. I heard you screaming my name when I was underground. You and Christopher are the reasons I’m alive right now_... but he doesn’t know how to say it out loud. So he settles for, “I’m sorry, Buck.”

“Eddie, I don’t want you to  apologize.  I want you to  talk  to me. You’re my best friend, and I hate seeing you so...so distracted from the world. I wasn’t gonna bring it up but-“ Buck trails off. 

“But, what?”

“Christopher. When I picked him up from school yesterday, he said he was worried about you. That you were sad. I just want to help, Eddie.”

“Buck, I promise, I’m fine. You don’t need to help because there’s nothing for you to help with.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

_**At that party last night, baby, I don't know why I forgot to mention...** _

It is that time of year again: Athena and Bobby’s Fourth of July Extravaganza!

This small get together is always a great chance for the kids to play with each other, and for the adults to talk without an alarm ringing and interrupting their conversations. This year, they are lucky. No one has a shift this year, so they all can be together.

The party already started fifteen minutes ago, and Eddie hasn’t even left his house yet. Christopher is getting impatient. Eddie is frustrated. He can’t figure out what to wear.

“Daddy! Come on! The part already started!” Christopher called from behind his dad.

“I know. I’m sorry,  _Mijo_ . I just can’t figure out what to wear.”

“Wear you red and black flannel, dad. I like that shirt.”

“You know what, that’s a great idea.” Eddie reaches for the flannel and throws it on. He buttons it up and looks in the mirror. He looks damn good. Eddie smiles at Chris in the mirror. “You ready?”

“I have been forever, dad!” 

“Well, okay then.” 

**~*~**

“Well if it isn’t my favorite Diaz!” Athena exclaims, hugging Chris.

“Hi, Mrs. Athena!” Chris responds. Athena smiles.

“Denny and Harry are in the back yard. Go have fun, sweetheart.”

“Thanks, Athena. Sorry we’re late. Just had a little problem at home.”

“No worries, Eddie. You’re here now. Now, go sit. Dinner will be ready soon.” Eddie smiles and makes his way into the living room. There he finds Hen, Karen, Chimney and Maddie.  _No Buck_ , his mind notes helpfully. If he could roll his eyes at his own subconscious, he would.

“Hey, Eddie!” Hen yells. She smiles brightly at him.

“Hey, Hen. Hey, guys.” He greets. Karen waves politely, Chim nods, and Maddie smiles. 

“So, you’re a little late. You’re never late.” Chim says with a smirk on his face. Eddie quirks an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I had a little problem at home. Why do you look like you just cracked the Da Vinci code?” Eddie asks. Maddie laughs and Chim has the audacity to look offended.

“Well, Buck isn’t here yet... and you showed up late...” Chim says, still looking like the cat that got the cream.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply here, Chim.”

“It’s just a little odd. There no chance that maybe, just maybe,  Buck  was _with_ _you_ ?” Chim wiggles his eyebrows. Eddie glares at him.

“Chim...I haven’t seen Buck since last night. And he was not  _with me_ . I don’t know why he’s late. I was late cause I couldn’t figure out what to wear.”

To say Chim looks embarrassed is an understatement. Maddie is stifling laughter, as well as Hen and Karen. Chim’s face suddenly went from embarrassed to excited. “Hey, there’s our Buckaroo!”

Eddie shifts to look at Buck and say hello. When Eddie sees his best friend, every greeting he has dies on his tongue and his mouth goes dry.  _Dios Mio_.

**_You were looking drop-dead, not even a contest, center of attention..._ **

Buck is dressed in blue jeans that are faded around the thighs, a grey Henley, and an olive green bomber jacket. Everything he’s wearing shows off his body in perfect ways. Eddie, well, Eddie wants to curl up in a ball and scream. _Who the fuck gave Evan Buckley the right to look this fucking good?!_

“Hey, everybody! Sorry I’m late, outfits are hard.” Buck laughs. Chim smirks.

“Eddie said the same thing. I guess you guys really are best friends. Both late for the same reason?”

“You were late?” Buck asks. Eddie nods.

“Yep.” Eddie replies, popping the ‘p.’

“You’re never late.”

“I had the same problem as you. Clothes are hard.” Eddie chuckles.

“That’s not the only thing that’s hard.” Chim mumbles under his breath. Maddie flicks him in the head. Eddie smirks,  good .

“What’d you say, Chim?” Buck asks, tilting his head.

Eddie sees Maddie pinch Chim’s side. Chim yelps and says, “I said, yeah, clothes are hard. I had a hard time finding something to wear tonight too.”

“Okay,” Buck drags out. “I’m gonna grab a beer.”

Buck walks away, and Eddie takes this as his chance to yell at Chimney.

“You’re an _asshole_ , Han!” Eddie growls through gritted teeth. Chim rolls his eyes.

“Oh my god, just ask him out already. This dancing around each other is getting old!”

“I’m not gonna-“ Eddie stops talking as Buck walks back in the room. He’s holding two beers and hands one to Eddie when he sits down. “Thanks, Buck.”

“No problem. What we’re you guys talking about?”

“Nothing. Uh, Chris is excited to see you! Let’s go see him.”

Buck’s face lights up like a Christmas tree at the mention of the boy. “I can’t say no to seeing my Superman!”

**_If I had to say every time you looked amazing you’d_ ** **_think I was joking..._ **

As they walk outside, Eddie takes this time to compliment Buck. “You look good.”

“Thanks, I try. Not like I have to though, I’m naturally handsome.” Buck jokes with a smirk on his face and his eyes toward Eddie.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Buck.” Eddie jabs back, a matching smirk showing on his lips. He swears Buck’s eyes flick down to his lips for a split second, but he chalks it up to his imagination.

“I sleep fine. Do you? It looks like you could use some more beauty sleep, old man. Are- Are those wrinkles?” Buck brings his hand up to poke Eddie between his eyebrows. Eddie swats his hand away and puts on a serious face. He can’t stay serious for long though, and they both start laughing like maniacs. 

“You...are a menace, Evan Buckley.” Eddie says fondly. Buck smiles.

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have me any other way.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t.” They look at each other with such love and fondness that they can see it in the other’s eyes. Yet, they still don’t get their shit together.

_**But I brag about you when I'm not around you, you don't even know it...** _

“Edmundo Diaz, what a surprise!”

“Hey, Judd. How are you doing?” Eddie thought it was about time he contacted some of his friends from Texas, one of them being Judd Ryder. He is a firefighter in Austin, and has been one of Eddie’s best friends for a long time.

“I’m pretty good. How are you, man? I haven’t heard from you in a long while.” Judd asks. Eddie smiles.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Life’s been crazy the last two years, but I’m doing good.”

“That’s good. How’s your team up in California? They good to you?”

“Yeah, yeah. They’re basically family. Hell, they’re the best ‘found Family’ I could ever ask for. Hen, she’s so sweet and funny, and she’s always there to listen to you if you need it. Chimney, he’s the one who got the rebar stuck through his head, he’s so funny. He’s also a great friend. Then Cap- um, Bobby. He’s like a second dad. He always supports you and is there for you through everything. Then, there’s Buck...” Eddie trails off.

“Hold on. First, you work with the rebar guy? Cool! Second, Buck?”

“Yes, I work with the rebar guy. And, yeah, Buck. He’s- He’s my best friend. He’s great with Christopher. He’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. He’s been through a lot, yet somehow is still an amazing person. I fucked up our friendship so badly and yet, he still has stuck by me through everything. He was crushed by a fucking ladder truck and pushed through his pain just to see me become an official member of the 118. He saved Christopher’s life in a tsunami. He-“ Eddie knows he is giving himself away. But when it comes to Buck, he can’t stop himself from singing his praises.

“Eddie, this Buck sounds like _a little more_ than a best friend. That guy is probably one of the toughest guys I’ve ever heard about. You trust him with Chris. From what you said, he’s known Chris for a while. So, I’m guessing that Buck got yo know Christopher really soon after you guys moved.”

“Yeah, I’d say like a few days to a week after I started at the 118, there was an earthquake. Buck drove me to Christopher’s school to pick him up. Then Abuela broke her hip, and he went to the hospital with me, and he even talked to Bobby about me bringing Chris to thestation before I even thought of it. From the moment he knew about Christopher, he was gone on the kid. He wasn’t even phased when he found out about Christopher’s CP. Buck took it all in stride and treated Chris just like any other kid.”

“He sounds like a good man. Eddie, I’m gonna give you some advice. I’ve never seen or heard you so in love with someone. Not even, Shannon, which I know, it’s different. But still, don’t let your doubts get in the way of having something amazing, Eddie. You tell that man how you feel. Don’t let him slip away from you.”

“Yeah, I- you know what, I will. Thanks, Judd.”

“No need, brother. Go get your man. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Judd.”

“Bye, Eddie.”

Fuck, he was really gonna do this...

** You think that I don't notice how you brush your hair out of your  ~~ green ~~ blue eyes... **

Buck’s hair is getting long. A little too long. The curls are more prominent now, and Buck occasionally has to brush his hair out of his eyes. Eddie thinks it’s adorable. He also has to stop himself from running his hands through Buck’s hair more often than not, however. It’s difficult, don’t judge him.

Chris loves Buck’s hair. They match. When Christopher first saw the curls in Buck’s hair, he was so excited. It made Eddie’s heart melt.

“Alright, who’s ready for pancakes?” Buck yells as he walks into  _La Casa Diaz_ . Christopher gets up off of the couch and makes his way to hug his Buck.

“I am! I love your pancakes, Bucky!”

“That’s why I’m making them, Superman! Just for you. Your daddy can starve.” Buck jokes, sending Eddie a wink. Eddie can feel his cheeks heating up, so he puts his head down and shakes it.

“You two are so mean to me. My own son and best friend have betrayed me.” Eddie flops back onto the couch dramatically with a hand on his forehead, his eyes closed. He can hear Christopher’s and Buck’s giggle from behind him. He peeks open an eye to look at his son and Buck. 

“You’re so dramatic, daddy.” Chris giggles. Buck nods his head in agreement.

“Yeah, Eddie, you are so dramatic.”

Eddie tries to stay serious but he can’t keep up the façade for long. Seeing the happiness on Christopher’s face and the fond look Buck is giving his son makes his smile. He’s sure that if he smiles any wider his face would split.

“Alright, you troublemakers, let’s go make breakfast.” Eddie says getting up from the couch.

“ _You_ , are not touching the food.” Buck pokes a finger at Eddie’s chest. Eddie narrows his eyes, but knows he will not be allowed anywhere near any ingredients.

“Fine, I didn’t want to help anyway.” Eddie buffs as he sits at the table. Buck rolls his eyes and starts up the griddle, whilst mixing the pancake mix.

“Bucky, we match!” Chris yells suddenly. Eddie jumps in his chair and looks at his son. Buck looks startled too, eyes wide and frozen in place.

“You scared me, buddy. But that’s okay! How do we match?” Buck asks sweetly, continuing his work.

“We both have curly hair!”

“Yeah, we do, buddy!”

“I get to match with my Buck now!” Christopher says. Eddie melts at the happy smile on Chris’ face. He looks up at Buck and it looks like the younger man has tears in his eyes. Eddie doesn’t bring it up.

“And I get to match with my Superman!” Buck brings a hand up to brush his hair out of his eyes. That’s going to be happening a lot.

It does. And Eddie thinks it’s adorable each time.

**The way you blush when you drink red wine...**

They’re at Maddie and Chim’s for game night. It’s only the four of them, but it’s still great to Eddie. He loves hanging out with any part of the 118 family, and he knows Buck does too. Maddie bought a few bottles of wine, insisting they stay the night, which they happily agreed. Christopher is at a sleepover, Abuela is picking him up tomorrow. Buck is off of the blood thinners. Why not drink some wine?

“Buck, that’s the fifth time you’ve lost.” Chimney says, laughing. Buck glares at him.

“It’s not my fault she has a good poker face!” Buck exclaims. Eddie wants to help him out but he ends up laughing along with Maddie and Chim.

“Wow, my own best friend has turned against me.” Buck put a hand over his heart in feign offense.

“Oh, come on. Like you and Chris don’t team up on me every time you’re over.” Eddie says with a smirk.

“Touché.” Buck says with a playful glare. Eddie sighs and picks up the cards, shuffling them for the next round.

“Who wants more wine?” Maddie asks as she gets up from the table.

“I’ll take one!” Buck calls.

“Me too!” Chimney yells.

“I’m good for now, Maddie. Thank you.” Eddie says politely.

“At least  _someone_ has manners.” Maddie pats Eddie’s shoulder as she walks by.

“Hey now!” Buck exclaims, offended. Eddie laughs.

“You know she’s not wrong, Evan.”

Buck scoffs and looks at Eddie. His cheeks are pink from the wine, and Eddie decides it’s another thing he loves about Buck. The way his cheeks flush with pink after so many cups of wine. Eddie knows he has to say something, but he won’t until the time is right.

_**The way you smile when you try to bend the truth...** _

“Daddy!” Eddie felt Chris wrap himself around his legs.

“Hey, bud. How was your day with Buck?”

“It was awesome! It’s always awesome when Buck is here! He even let me have two scoops of ice cream today!”

“Oh, did he now?”

“Yeah! Strawberry and vanilla! Buck said strawberry is his favorite. Since I like vanilla and he likes strawberry, we both got two scoops! One of each!”

“That’s great, Chris. It’s almost your bedtime though. Go get your PJs on then come say goodnight to Buck.”

“Okay, daddy!” Chris makes his way to his room, and Eddie makes his way to the living room where Buck is.

“Hey.” Eddie says, catching Buck’s attention. Buck smiles.

“Hey. How was work?”

“I hate when you’re not there. It’s not fun.” Eddie says honestly.

“Aw, is someone getting sappy on me?” Buck teases. Eddie shoves his shoulder playfully.

“Okay fine, I was playing nice. So, a little birdie told me that he got two scoops of ice cream. That sound familiar, Buckley?” Eddie asks with a smirk.

The corner of Buck’s lips quirk as he tries to lie. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d be more concerned about you talking to a bird than Christopher eating two scoops of ice cream. Are you finally going senile, old man?”

“Ha ha ha. Very funny, Buck.”

Buck smiles fully, although there’s a little bit of hesitation present in his eyes. “So, yeah, I did let him have two scoops. I’m sorry if I overstepped. I didn’t mean for it to make you mad or-“

“Buck, I’m not mad. I’m just messing with you. I’ve told you this before, I’ll tell you again,” Eddie places his hand on Buck’s shoulder, his thumb on Buck’s pulse point. “There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you, Buck.”

Buck smiles softly at him. “There’s a lot of people in this world, Eddie.”

“And none of them compare to you. Not in any aspect.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re my best friend, Evan. Now, how about I put Chris to bed then we watch a movie?” Eddie asks.

“That’s sounds great.”

They end up watching  _The Notebook_ .

**You think that I don't notice all the songs you sing underneath your breath...**

Last week it was Dancing Queen by ABBA, the week before that it was Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, this week it’s Your Song by Elton John. Buck has a habit of humming or singing when he’s concentrating. But every week, he has a new song stuck in his head. Eddie also doesn’t know where all this 70s music knowledge came from. He’s guessing Bobby. Don’t quote him on that.

Right now, Buck’s cooking lunch for the team. It’s an uncommon slow day. There hasn’t been many calls, so it’s a day where they can all relax and talk. 

“ _It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide. I don’t have much money but, boy if I did, I’d buy I big house where we both could live._

_If I was a sculptor, but then again, no. Or a man who makes potions in the traveling show. I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do. My gift is my song and this one’s for you._

_And you can tell everybody this is your song. It may be quite simple but now that it’s done. I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is when you’re in the world..._ ”

Eddie watched Buck from the doorway of the station kitchen, a soft smile on his face. “I didn’t think you even knew who Elton John was, let alone the words to one of his songs.”

Buck jumped and turned to look at Eddie with wide eyes. “Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me. And Maddie always loved Elton John. She was playing one of his records a few nights ago. It’s been a while since I’ve heard his songs, but that one was always my favorite.”

“It’s a good song. Great words. Beautiful piano.”

“Yeah, really great words.” Buck says looking at Eddie.

“So, how’s lunch coming along?” Eddie asks trying to start another conversation.

“It is... almost done! Grilled mozzarella sandwiches coming right up!”

“That sounds amazing. This is why I keep you around.” Eddie teases.

Buck fake gasps. “Of course, I should have known. You only want me for my cooking.”

They laugh at each other’s antics as Eddie helps Buck set the table. They bump each other’s shoulders playfully. They poke and prod, trying to get the other to laugh harder than they already are. By the time the rest of the team come up for lunch, Eddie and Buck are in hysterics on the ground, Buck in Eddie’s lap.

_**You still tear up at a beach sunset...** _

It’s been a while since the tsunami, but it’s still pretty tough to go to the beach. When the 118 get called out to a surfing accident, Eddie makes sure he doesn’t leave Buck’s side unless absolutely necessary. Hen, Chimney, and Bobby know Eddie would be the only one able to calm Buck down if he starts panicking, so they cover everything on their own. Luckily it wasn’t too bad of an accident. Hen and Chimney load the injured woman into the ambulance and head to the hospital. Bobby is loading stuff back into the ladder truck. Buck, however, is standing on the sand, turnout coat in the crook of his elbow. He’s staring off toward the horizon.  He’s watching the sunset , Eddie realized. 

Eddie slowly walks up to Buck and places a comforting hand on his elbow. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. It’s just- it’s so pretty.”

And it is. The sunset is one of the most beautiful Eddie has ever seen. There are bright yellows and reds with subtle pinks, some purple is littered throughout the sky as well. The colors reflecting off of the ocean makes it even more beautiful. Eddie turns his head to look at Buck. That’s when he realizes that Buck’s eyes are glossed over.

“Are you- Are you _tearing up_?” Eddie asks, a little surprise.

Buck turns more toward him, only confirming his thoughts. “W-What? No, I don’t tear up at sunsets...”

Eddie raises and eyebrow. Buck caves.

“Okay, fine! It’s really pretty okay?” Buck wipes at his eyes as he chuckles. Eddie shakes his head fondly.

“Alright, boys. Let’s head back to the station.” Bobby says from behind them. “Buck, are you crying?”

“Yeah, Cap. I’m not sad, though. That’s just a really pretty sunset.”

“Okay, kid. It is very beautiful.”

**And you dance just like you're the only one in the room...**

**You think that I don't notice, but I do...**

They’re at May’s graduation party. There’s snacks and music is being played loud, different chords of different songs floating through the Grant-Nash household. A bunch of May’s friends are here, and Buck is making it his mission as (kind of) older brother to embarrass her. Nothing’s working so far. She’s too much like her mom.

“Buck, give it up. She’s not gonna cave.” Eddie tries to settle his best friend.

“There has to be  _something_ that will make her crack!” Buck exclaims.

“Well, I know that Chris only gets embarrassed around me when I dance.” Eddie says.

“You a bad dancer?”

“Uh, yeah, not exactly...”

“What do you mean ‘not exactly?’”

“I mean that I was in a dance group. I’m actually a pretty good dancer. Chris just hates when I do it.” Eddie chuckles. Buck looks like he’s just seen a ghost.

“You, Edmundo “I-don’t-have-a-loose-bone-in-my-body” Diaz can _dance_?” Buck exclaims. Eddie nods, trying not to laugh at the look on Buck’s face.

“Well, then I know how we’re gonna embarrass May. You may be a good dancer, but I am not. Let’s go.” Buck grabs Eddie’s hand and drags him to the makeshift dance floor.

“Hold on, Buck. You’re not dragging me into your shenanigans!” Eddie brings out his best dad voice. Eddie think he has the upper hand until Buck looks at him. Buck looks at him with this goddamn puppy eyes. It doesn’t take long for Eddie to give in.

They spend most of the rest of night trying to embarrass May. When she sees Buck dance, she laughs it off and takes a video for blackmail she can use later. Buck accepts that he just can’t embarrass the Grant-Nash women. Doesn’t mean he won’t stop trying though.

**_See it all, and I keep on falling for you every night, over and over again..._ **

Eddie is surprised at how long he’s been able to hide his feelings for Buck. He wasn’t expecting to let everything out like this. This wasn’t the ideal way he planned on telling Buck, but he decides that maybe this is how fate wanted it to be.

A call went wrong. It wasn’t bad, but Eddie still ended up going to the hospital. They didn’t keep him for long, but he still came out of there with smoke inhalation, and some cuts and bruises. Buck was there the whole time not letting Eddie be alone unless the doctors made him leave. 

Buck drove Eddie back to his house, carried their stuff inside and sat Eddie on the couch. He went to the kitchen and came back out with two glasses of water. Eddie knew Buck was worried. What he doesn’t know is why he had to push, just like he always does.

“Buck, I’m fine. I can get my own drinks.” Eddie says with a huff of breath. He knows he shouldn’t get annoyed with Buck. Buck only wants to help.  _Dios_ ,  that’s all Buck ever wants to do...help.

“I know, I just-“ Buck cuts himself off when Eddie tries to move by himself. That seems to be the last straw in Eddie’s subconscious.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Evan! I’m fine! I can move on my goddamn own!” Eddie yells. Buck flinches at the time in his voice.

“Well, excuse me for trying to make sure my fucking best friend is okay.” He stays silent for a moment before speaking again. “I think it’s time for me to go.”

“No, Evan. I’m sorry.” Eddie stands up from the couch and trails after Buck. “Buck, come on. I didn’t mean to lash out like that. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, Eddie. You don’t need me. I get it.”

“ _Dios Mio_ , Buck! I need you. Of course I fucking need you! You’re my best friend!”

“Really? ‘Cause right now it seems like you don’t even like me.”

Eddie decides that now is the time. It’s time to stop running. Time to stop being a coward.  _Just fucking tell him, Diaz!_

“You’re right. I don’t like you.” Buck starts to walk away but Eddie grabs his wrist. “You didn’t let me finish. You’re right because I love you.”

Eddie hears Buck’s breath hitch. Buck’s looking at Eddie with hopeful eyes, filled both with hesitance and so much fucking love that Eddie can’t take it.

“You better not be fucking with me right now, Diaz.”

“I promise you, I’m not, Buckley.”

“Prove it. How long?”

“God, since you made sure it was okay to bring Christopher to the station when Abuela broker her hip. Ever since then, I’ve fallen for you more and more every fucking day. The small things you do that you think no one notices, I notice. Like how you brush your hair out of your eyes when it gets to long. How you get this amazing blush on your face when you’ve had just a little too much wine. Or how you smile when you try to tell a little lie, like when you gave Chris two scoops of ice cream.” They chuckle, but Eddie continues. “Every week you sing a new song under you breath when you’re concentrated on something. You never sing the same song for more than a week. You tear up at beach sunsets because you have a heart as beautiful, maybe even more beautiful than a beach sunset. You dance like you’re the only person in the room, even when you’re trying to get people to notice. You think that I don’t notice, but I do. And all of those small things made me fall for you so many times. Over and over again. I’m so in love with you Evan Buckley.”

“I’m in love with you too, Edmundo Diaz. God, I’m so fucking in love with you.” Buck says breathlessly. Eddie smiles at him and he smiles back.

“Can I kiss you?” Buck nods.

When they kiss, no sparks fly. There’s no fireworks or pixie dust. There’s a warm familiar feeling at the bottom of their stomachs telling them that they should’ve been doing this for so long. They could’ve been doing this for so long. There’s a sense of belonging and security. There’s a sense of coming home. This is home. They say home is where the heart is, and right now, Eddie and Buck understand that saying. _They are each other’s homes._

**_It's my fault that I don't remind you every day of your life, You're perfect..._ **

Waking up next to Buck the next morning is the best thing Eddie’s ever felt. Buck is holding him close, his arms creating a protective circle over the older man. Eddie burrows his head in Buck’s chest, tilting his head slightly to kiss the hollow of Buck’s throat. He admires the bruises on Buck’s collarbone, and the new bruises on his own skin. He admires the peaceful look on Buck’s face as he sleeps. Nothing is bothering him. No nightmares, no hardships... just peace. 

“You know, it’s creepy to watch people when they sleep. That’s what serial killers do.” Buck opens one eye to peek at Eddie. The latter rolls his eyes at his boyfriend. God, his _boyfriend_. His perfect boyfriend.

“You’re too perfect not to look at.”

“Eddie, I’m not perfect.”

“You are perfect in my eyes, Evan Buckley. Everything about you is perfect. Your hair, your baby blue eyes, your goddamn smile. Your smile could fight the sun and win. Your body, damn you look like a fucking Greek god. Your voice is rough, but it’s soft and gentle at the same time. Your scars... each and every one tell the story of who you are and what you’ve fought through. You’re a fighter, Evan. And you’re so fucking perfect.” Eddie explains honestly. Buck is smiling so wide, and his eyes are glazed with tears.

“I love you so fucking much, Eddie Diaz.” Buck says, grabbing Eddie’s hand and kissing it.

“I love you too, Buck, so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic in this fandom! Be gentle. Constructive criticism is appreciated, as well as comments on what you want me to do next. And please, if you find any typos, feel free to point them out! It’s amazing how fast this show has consumed my life. I hope y’all enjoy! I love every single one of you!
> 
> Based off of Notice by Thomas Rhett


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